Workplace Bullying

Day after day you go to work and encounter an individual that you perceive to be a bully.  These individuals may exhibit mean, disrespectful or cold natured behavior.  They may challenge every idea or deliverable you generate.  You often anticipate pushy and uncooperative behavior. If this person is in a leadership position, they most likely abuse their power by interrogating others or nit picking at every little aspect of your work and/or performance.  The specifics of their bullying behavior are really not important in the grand scheme of working to resolve the situation.  YOUR behavior, in terms of how you respond to the bully, IS critical for effective resolution.

First you need to erase any traces of fear that you may have in regards to this situation.  Fear will paralyze you and prohibit you from responding effectively or even at all.  Fear will drive you into a perpetual state of acceptance in regards to the bullying behavior.  What are you afraid of?  Imagine the worst case scenario.  Really, think about the worst possible outcome associated with you managing this bully.  Now, ask yourself, will this most likely ever take place?  Will anyone die as a result of this?  Will I lose my job?  The true answers to these questions is most likely NO.  Eliminate fear from this equation...PLEASE!

Second, you have to accept the fact that you have a poor relationship with the alleged bully.  It takes two people to have a strong connection or relationship so examine yourself in regards to how you are contributing to this bullying behavior.  What would you do differently if fear was not a factor? Additionally, poor relationships typically signal poor communication.  What can you do to improve your ability to connect and communicate with this person?  Have you given this person honest feedback on the way in which their behavior impacts you or is fear keeping you from speaking up?

Other tips for dealing with your bully include:
-  Keep your enemies close.  Find positive reasons to be around your bully.
-  Engage their expertise.  Your bully has to have strengths in something. Engaging them honors,
    flatters, and facilitates positive connection with them.
-  Kill them with kindness.  Flashing a BIG SMILE in their direction will instantly throw them
   off of their game.  Seizing the opportunity to say something good about them to others or to
   support them in some way will work wonders.

Be consistent, have courage and do not back down and accommodate your bully in the name of keeping peace.  The irony is doing so will not bring you peace.  Get actively engaged in the solution.  Examine yourself and improve this relationship before other aspects of your career derail as a result of these negative interactions. 

For more information on dealing with Workplace Bullies and giving and receiving feedback, get your copy of Job-portunity:  Your Career GPS TODAY! www.whatsleadership.com

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