Creating Career Building Relationships

Relationships rule when it comes to your job satisfaction and ultimately promotion decisions. Stop looking at work relationships as though they are casual friendships and start looking at work relationships as criteria for which you will be judged and hopefully supported.  There are three classic pitfalls that you should be careful to avoid.   Falling into one or more of these pitfalls could mean sudden death for your career.

Pitfall #1

Loose lips sink ships. Do not take on the role of office gossip OR betray someone's confidence in an effort to win friends or entertain yourself.  You are being watched whether you realize it or not.  You will lose trust and credibility with others if you engage in such behaviors.

 Pitfall #2

Direct reports as best friends. If you are in a leadership position it is never a good idea to display a best friend relationship with individuals that report to you.  The supervisor/manager/leader loses credibility and instantly creates an exclusive culture.  It is also important to remember the direct report is in a subordinate role so they may feel pressured to comply with any favors or request you ask of them.  This could come back to severely haunt you in the form of harassment if the relationship turns sour.  If you are the direct report that is in this type of relationship with your boss, you may not be taken seriously by others.  Keep your relationship as professional as possible.

 Pitfall #3

Having too many best friends
It is also not wise to seek out “20+ best friends”.  Your inner circle should never be that large.  Having 20 best friends will inevitably result in leaks in information, feelings of exclusion and

sure disappointment playing out of the old adage, “you can never please all of the people all of the time.”  If you are consumed with making sure that everyone likes you, chances are you are very exhausted and very unsuccessful.  Consider why it is so important to you to be liked.  Also consider that this desire will typically result in paralysis as you agonize on what to do in certain scenarios in an effort to please everyone.  You may also get into trouble when it comes to decision making in terms of demonstrating unethical behavior as your values and morals can become clouded by your desire to be liked. 

For more information get a copy of Job-portunity: Your Career GPS today! www.whatsleadership.com

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Workplace Bullying

Day after day you go to work and encounter an individual that you perceive to be a bully.  These individuals may exhibit mean, disrespectful or cold natured behavior.  They may challenge every idea or deliverable you generate.  You often anticipate pushy and uncooperative behavior. If this person is in a leadership position, they most likely abuse their power by interrogating others or nit picking at every little aspect of your work and/or performance.  The specifics of their bullying behavior are really not important in the grand scheme of working to resolve the situation.  YOUR behavior, in terms of how you respond to the bully, IS critical for effective resolution.

First you need to erase any traces of fear that you may have in regards to this situation.  Fear will paralyze you and prohibit you from responding effectively or even at all.  Fear will drive you into a perpetual state of acceptance in regards to the bullying behavior.  What are you afraid of?  Imagine the worst case scenario.  Really, think about the worst possible outcome associated with you managing this bully.  Now, ask yourself, will this most likely ever take place?  Will anyone die as a result of this?  Will I lose my job?  The true answers to these questions is most likely NO.  Eliminate fear from this equation...PLEASE!

Second, you have to accept the fact that you have a poor relationship with the alleged bully.  It takes two people to have a strong connection or relationship so examine yourself in regards to how you are contributing to this bullying behavior.  What would you do differently if fear was not a factor? Additionally, poor relationships typically signal poor communication.  What can you do to improve your ability to connect and communicate with this person?  Have you given this person honest feedback on the way in which their behavior impacts you or is fear keeping you from speaking up?

Other tips for dealing with your bully include:
-  Keep your enemies close.  Find positive reasons to be around your bully.
-  Engage their expertise.  Your bully has to have strengths in something. Engaging them honors,
    flatters, and facilitates positive connection with them.
-  Kill them with kindness.  Flashing a BIG SMILE in their direction will instantly throw them
   off of their game.  Seizing the opportunity to say something good about them to others or to
   support them in some way will work wonders.

Be consistent, have courage and do not back down and accommodate your bully in the name of keeping peace.  The irony is doing so will not bring you peace.  Get actively engaged in the solution.  Examine yourself and improve this relationship before other aspects of your career derail as a result of these negative interactions. 

For more information on dealing with Workplace Bullies and giving and receiving feedback, get your copy of Job-portunity:  Your Career GPS TODAY! www.whatsleadership.com

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=512dK0RVriY

Do You Have the People Skills Required for a Successful Career?

Successfully working with other people requires skill and a certain amount of savvy.  The book Job-portunity: Your Career GPS features an entire chapter dedicated to "Perfecting Your People Skills".  Here are a few key strategies for developing your people skills. 

Be Humble

The key to developing great people skills is putting others ahead of yourself.  Making others feel important, heard and valued is truly the key to your success when it comes to developing relationships.  The key is to employ humble behavior strategically.  When you are in the midst of conflict with someone else, go to them as humbly as you would like for them to come to you. He who plants humility usually reaps a greater gain.

 

Mutual Respect

Establishing  mutual respect is a key foundational building block in any relationship.  Establishing mutual respect should become the priority when trying to build relationships with others.  The best ways to establish mutual respect is to acknowledge the abilities, accomplishments, and contributions of others while behaving in a manner that is collaborative and communicating in a way that is inclusive.

For more information on Perfecting Your People Skills, get your copy of Job-portunity:  Your Career GPS today! www.whatsleadership.com

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=512dK0RVriY