The Art of Asking Questions

Communication in general is something we take for granted.  This troubling since ineffective communication is at the root of 99% of the challenges we experience. One way to boost your communication skills is to ask the right open-ended questions at the right time.  The purpose of asking questions is to sincerely assess the situation to increase your accuracy of understanding.  In other words, seek to understand first so you can make data driven decisions.  Assessment is often overlooked in tension filled, stressful, high energy situations or when communication has broken down. 

Crafting the questions begins with seeking clarity or gathering missing information.  Do not ask yes or no questions because closed responses yield little information.  What, when, where, how and why are great questions starters but the greatest of these is "Why?".  Phrase 5 questions leading with "why" to get to the root cause of situation. 

The quality of questions asked is important but what is even more critical is the response to the answer received.  Listening, truly listening in a focused, open manner is essential.  The next step is to build on the response, integrating it in the communication exchange.  People want to feel heard.  Additionally, when listening truly occurs learning also occurs.  The communication becomes a win-win.

Communication can be a trust builder or trust breaker.  Effective communication is a vital nutrient for relationships. Get and give daily doses for overall health and wellness.

Find Talent & Get Hired!

I just received an email from a client who had some questions around employee selection.  You may find this post insightful if you are the hiring manager and/or if you are currently searching for a new position.  Enjoy!

 Q:  Is it better to hire someone who has the skill sets, but not our culture or vice

      versa?

·     It is my professional opinion that you establish the skills that successful candidates are required to come to the table with .  These are the skills that you are not willing to invest the time and resources into developing within the successful candidate. If the candidate comes to the table with those skills, I would then assess their fit within the organization.  Reviewing their personality assessments and conducting panel interviews to include key business leaders is very important. You are looking for cultural fit, location fit, and fit regarding the position accountabilities. 

·     Culture Fit is really about assembling a team that will complement each other by striking the proper balance regarding personalities and skills sets.

·     Location Fit is ensuring that the candidate has been educated about the region if they are new to the area and determining if they are truly comfortable with living in the specified region.  This extends beyond the candidate.  Candidates have become retention risks due to family members not feeling comfortable in the specified city or state.

·     Job Fit requires that you provide the candidate with a realistic job preview so that they don’t take the job and resign citing this is not what they “signed up for”.

Q: If we hire someone fitting to our organizational culture, how can we expect them to

    do the hard steps of pruning, disciplining and growing our sales distribution?  In
    other words, we have shied away from implementing those exacting management
    moves, how can we expect someone with our cultural aspects to be able to execute
    better than us?

·     Hiring for Cultural Fit is not the same as hiring with a “similar to me bias”.  You want someone who complements the team.  If you have a lot of Adapters its good to throw in a mix of Negotiators and even a Challenger or two.  Assembling a diverse team is going to create maximum and ideal synergy.

 Q:  At what point do we draw the line between fitting our culture like a glove and
      living with some cultural dissonance so as to get optimum performance?

·     At the end of the day, no matter who you hire you are going to have to implement performance management strategies for any deviant or outlier type behavior that presents contrary to what is best for your organization.  The hope is always that this looks like coaching and not disciplinary action.  Be prepared to put on your coaching hat as you expand and grow outside of your family nucleus.  As you select a diverse team, watch the ratios of challengers to adapter, high wanted to control to low expressed control, introverts to extraverts for example and the dynamics that accompany those ratios.  Being armed with this data is going to make all the difference in your effectiveness as a People Leader.

For more information please check out the following websites: 

www.whatsleadership.com
Blog:  http://job-portunity.blogspot.com
Job-portunity Book Trailer:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=512dK0RVriY

Developing True Self Awareness

Have you ever had a boss or a co-worker who consistently spoke out of turn?  Perhaps you have had a boss or a co-worker who dresses inappropriately or has a bizarre hair style.  Maybe they had a problem with burping out loud or body odor. You may have even encountered a boss or a co-worker that is extremely arrogant or abrasive when it come to interacting with others.  Even more disturbing, have you ever known someone at work who believes their performance is stellar when the reality is this person is a very poor performer.  Maybe, just maybe, this paragraph somehow describes YOU but you just don't know it.  How others see you is critical in terms of how you see yourself.  In fact, if there is a significant gap in how others see you and how you see yourself, your career could very well be in jeopardy.

Personal Aptitude can be defined as understanding and managing your own behavior, emotions and attitude.  Personal Aptitude requires self control. 

 Social Aptitude can be defined as being able to pick up on how other people are feeling and using that awareness to manage relationships with others.   High levels of Social Aptitude require intentional observation and intuitiveness.  In other words, you have to have enough awareness to be able to see what is not obvious. 

The key to increasing both your personal and social aptitude is being willing to receive feedback.  This is why leaders go through 3-5 360 Degree Feedback assessments over the span of their careers.  However, there has to be a strong element of trust to say what needs to be said and to hear what needs to be heard.  Developing this trust means developing an openness to tough messages and the humility to change. 

Start your journey to increasing your self awareness today by reading Job-portunity:  Your Career GPS - Going Places Successfully in the World of Work.

www.whatsleadership.com

Job-portunity official book trailer:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=512dK0RVriY

 

     

Creating Career Building Relationships

Relationships rule when it comes to your job satisfaction and ultimately promotion decisions. Stop looking at work relationships as though they are casual friendships and start looking at work relationships as criteria for which you will be judged and hopefully supported.  There are three classic pitfalls that you should be careful to avoid.   Falling into one or more of these pitfalls could mean sudden death for your career.

Pitfall #1

Loose lips sink ships. Do not take on the role of office gossip OR betray someone's confidence in an effort to win friends or entertain yourself.  You are being watched whether you realize it or not.  You will lose trust and credibility with others if you engage in such behaviors.

 Pitfall #2

Direct reports as best friends. If you are in a leadership position it is never a good idea to display a best friend relationship with individuals that report to you.  The supervisor/manager/leader loses credibility and instantly creates an exclusive culture.  It is also important to remember the direct report is in a subordinate role so they may feel pressured to comply with any favors or request you ask of them.  This could come back to severely haunt you in the form of harassment if the relationship turns sour.  If you are the direct report that is in this type of relationship with your boss, you may not be taken seriously by others.  Keep your relationship as professional as possible.

 Pitfall #3

Having too many best friends
It is also not wise to seek out “20+ best friends”.  Your inner circle should never be that large.  Having 20 best friends will inevitably result in leaks in information, feelings of exclusion and

sure disappointment playing out of the old adage, “you can never please all of the people all of the time.”  If you are consumed with making sure that everyone likes you, chances are you are very exhausted and very unsuccessful.  Consider why it is so important to you to be liked.  Also consider that this desire will typically result in paralysis as you agonize on what to do in certain scenarios in an effort to please everyone.  You may also get into trouble when it comes to decision making in terms of demonstrating unethical behavior as your values and morals can become clouded by your desire to be liked. 

For more information get a copy of Job-portunity: Your Career GPS today! www.whatsleadership.com

Watch the official book trailer at:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=512dK0RVriY

Workplace Bullying

Day after day you go to work and encounter an individual that you perceive to be a bully.  These individuals may exhibit mean, disrespectful or cold natured behavior.  They may challenge every idea or deliverable you generate.  You often anticipate pushy and uncooperative behavior. If this person is in a leadership position, they most likely abuse their power by interrogating others or nit picking at every little aspect of your work and/or performance.  The specifics of their bullying behavior are really not important in the grand scheme of working to resolve the situation.  YOUR behavior, in terms of how you respond to the bully, IS critical for effective resolution.

First you need to erase any traces of fear that you may have in regards to this situation.  Fear will paralyze you and prohibit you from responding effectively or even at all.  Fear will drive you into a perpetual state of acceptance in regards to the bullying behavior.  What are you afraid of?  Imagine the worst case scenario.  Really, think about the worst possible outcome associated with you managing this bully.  Now, ask yourself, will this most likely ever take place?  Will anyone die as a result of this?  Will I lose my job?  The true answers to these questions is most likely NO.  Eliminate fear from this equation...PLEASE!

Second, you have to accept the fact that you have a poor relationship with the alleged bully.  It takes two people to have a strong connection or relationship so examine yourself in regards to how you are contributing to this bullying behavior.  What would you do differently if fear was not a factor? Additionally, poor relationships typically signal poor communication.  What can you do to improve your ability to connect and communicate with this person?  Have you given this person honest feedback on the way in which their behavior impacts you or is fear keeping you from speaking up?

Other tips for dealing with your bully include:
-  Keep your enemies close.  Find positive reasons to be around your bully.
-  Engage their expertise.  Your bully has to have strengths in something. Engaging them honors,
    flatters, and facilitates positive connection with them.
-  Kill them with kindness.  Flashing a BIG SMILE in their direction will instantly throw them
   off of their game.  Seizing the opportunity to say something good about them to others or to
   support them in some way will work wonders.

Be consistent, have courage and do not back down and accommodate your bully in the name of keeping peace.  The irony is doing so will not bring you peace.  Get actively engaged in the solution.  Examine yourself and improve this relationship before other aspects of your career derail as a result of these negative interactions. 

For more information on dealing with Workplace Bullies and giving and receiving feedback, get your copy of Job-portunity:  Your Career GPS TODAY! www.whatsleadership.com

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=512dK0RVriY

Do You Have the People Skills Required for a Successful Career?

Successfully working with other people requires skill and a certain amount of savvy.  The book Job-portunity: Your Career GPS features an entire chapter dedicated to "Perfecting Your People Skills".  Here are a few key strategies for developing your people skills. 

Be Humble

The key to developing great people skills is putting others ahead of yourself.  Making others feel important, heard and valued is truly the key to your success when it comes to developing relationships.  The key is to employ humble behavior strategically.  When you are in the midst of conflict with someone else, go to them as humbly as you would like for them to come to you. He who plants humility usually reaps a greater gain.

 

Mutual Respect

Establishing  mutual respect is a key foundational building block in any relationship.  Establishing mutual respect should become the priority when trying to build relationships with others.  The best ways to establish mutual respect is to acknowledge the abilities, accomplishments, and contributions of others while behaving in a manner that is collaborative and communicating in a way that is inclusive.

For more information on Perfecting Your People Skills, get your copy of Job-portunity:  Your Career GPS today! www.whatsleadership.com

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=512dK0RVriY